There’s a running joke in our family about me.. it’s about my destruction of books. Whenever I go thrifting and find some new treasures, the boys all laugh and say, “Oh mom, you bought some new books to tear up?” Why yes, yes I did. I don’t tear up ALL the books, but I really do shred a good portion of them. It’s kind of funny because my mom was our school librarian when I was in grade school and she was very adamant about treating books with respect. She spent a good portion of her evenings and weekends covering all of the school books in contact paper so that they would stand up to the wear and tear. And here I am now. I think she would understand though… she was always tole painting or cross stitching or making something with her hands.

The thing is, I love beautiful old books. But they often aren’t something I’m going to pick up readily to read, especially ones that I buy strictly for the color or the design or the interior decorative paper. But if I cut out the signatures, I am left with a stack of beautiful old book pages to turn into collage and then the cover can be made into a new art journal. I think it’s really exciting to breathe new life into something old in this way. And I like to preserve at least a bit of the old character, if not most of it.

It’s interesting because I feel like that’s what has been happening in my life lately too. Everything that I thought I knew has slowly but surely been dismantled. I’m discovering that God always has a lot of work left to do in us, and there isn’t some looming ‘arrival.’ We are always clay in His hands if we let Him. And the truth is, I want to be worked on. I don’t want to be an old, unused book on a shelf. I want Him to finish every single thing that He started in Me, and so I submit to being slammed on the wheel, flattened, shaped and reformed, again and again until all the impurities get worked out, and His goodness is baked in. Oh how it hasn’t been easy, it’s still feeling very much like I’m coming out of the flattening portion, but through it all, He is good. He is love, and I’m so thankful that He’s willing to make me like Him. What an honor and a treasure. I don’t know how the final vessel will come out, but He does, and I absolutely trust the work of His hands. And thanks to you, my dear readers, for joining me on this journey!

I think often of how I should be making youtube videos and art journaling more and painting and all the things. And I just realize how much I can’t do it all. I don’t know why I get frustrated by that limitation, but I do. It’s been so busy with the garden harvest, food prep, starting back at homeschool, and I realized tonight that I need to take some intentional time to slow down, work on my collages, catch up on the blog, and listen to some more of my mentorship lessons. There’s still more dishes to be done, laundry to wash and endless fingerprints to wipe, but I just needed this moment to reflect, and remember how blessed I am.

Thank you for stopping by!